I am one of those unfortunate people who have virtually no homemakeresque skills.

I can’t:

  1. Sew
  2. Bake
  3. Cook
  4. Knit
  5. Crochet
  6. Quilt
  7. Craft
  8. Embroider

And I know this because I’ve tried. I’ve tried to make a shirt, I didn’t hem it.

I tried to make brownies. I broiled them and caught the kitchen on fire.  And that’s just the first two. I’ve got a million stories like these. Through it all, though, I’ve had a cocktail. At least since I turned 21. I clearly did not drink before then. Because that would be illegal.

I’m sure stories will be told about my failed attempts at other hobbies, if I keep this up.

Everyone has their own mixology mantra, and here’s mine:


  1. Never sacrifice taste — I will use Chocolate flavored vodka, and I will not apologize if I believe it makes the drink taste better.
  2. Most of my recipes will be for two people. Michael almost always taste tests. Creating cocktails is more fun if there’s more than one of you. This could be your best friend, lover, or boss — or all three rolled in one person.
  3. When you shake a cocktail, shake it until ice forms on the outside of your metal martini shaker.
  4. Be careful of recommending me  a cocktail, because I will probably try it. I’ve had “The Black Death” (Soy Sauce and Vodka) once because I was curious. And it tastes exactly how you think it would.

Those are the rules for now. If I come up with more, I’ll add in a later post.