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So, Gentle Reader,

Here we are again. Another story, another cocktail. This one comes from my dad:

My dad and his friends were booze hounds when they were younger. They were mostly beer men but on nights that struck them (otherwise known as a sale) they would switch to something more potent. For some reason, one night my dad’s friend bought Creme de Cacao (chocolate liqueur) they got part of the way through the bottle and didn’t touch it.
My dad’s friend brought the bottle home with him, put it above the sink, passed out, and then went to work the next day. His tee-totalling grandmother came in, looked above the sink, and decided to have some chocolate milk. It was about a third Creme de Cacao and a two thirds milk. She liked it so much she decided to have a second one, and then a third. After the third “Chocolate Milk,”  grandma realized she was getting woozy and went to bed for a lie down. After grandma slept it off, my dad’s friend got off work and grandma needed to talk to him about the chocolate milk she had.

“That chocolate syrup above the sink was good, but it sure tasted funny,” she told her grandson.

“What chocolate syrup, grandma?” Grandma should him the now mostly empty bottle of creme de cacao. He looks at her, unsure of how to tell her this: “Grandma,” he paused, “that was liquor.”

Horrified, she realized she had tasted liquor for the very first time and chased her grandson out of the house with a broom.

In honor of this liquor loving lady, I present:

Grandma’s Chocolate Raspberries and Cream

2 parts Chocolate Vodka

2 parts Creme de Cacao

1 part Raspberry Liqueur

1 part Vanilla Flavored Soy Milk or Half & Half

  • Add ice to a martini shaker.
  • Add all ingredients.
  • Shake dramatically.
  • Pour and enjoy!


First, you should notice this drink is almost exactly the same as the Chocolate Orange except it replaces the Grand Marnier with Raspberry Liquor. The great thing about good cocktails is that by slightly changing a good cocktail recipe, all of a sudden there’s a new drink. Good cocktail recipes should work this way.

Also, you should notice, that this is yet another lactose intolerant cocktail. I think it is important that we are able to create drinks that as many populations can enjoy without damaging the flavor into something terrible or creating a new flavor those making an entirely new cocktail. When I served this to my friends in Raleigh, they thought it was delightful surprise.


1 750 mL bottle of Chocolate Vodka: $20

1 750 mL bottle of Creme de Cacao: $10

1 750 mL bottle of Raspberry Liqueur $10

1 container of Half & Half: $2 OR 1 container of soy milk: $4

Total: $42 or $47 depending on whether you use Half & Half or Soy Milk.

As always, happy and safe drinking!

after grandma