So, grades for some of my classes have been announced, and let’s just say I broke out the good vodka in disappointment last night. I’ve spent the last 18 hours or so wallowing in my disappointment. If wallowing was a competitive sport, I would certainly make the Olympic trials. People have been very nice trying to be consoling. I made the decision that I did not yet want to learn my lesson or be consoled, which I maintain is my right.
I am one of those people who need to muck around and feel bad before I can “recover” and move on. I’m a difficult person to talk to at that point, because I don’t need an ear, I need a drinking buddy, even if it’s only over one martini. I wallowed a little more this morning before I was able to abandon the wallowing. I talked to my friend Kearsten, and I am recovered.
The thing they don’t tell you about law school, and really about life in general, is how easy it is to lose yourself. I came to law school to be a legal librarian. I did not come to law school to get a 4.0 (and that is no longer an achievable goal.) It’s really easy to get sucked into the law school vision of you. When I graduate from the JD/MLS program, I will be one of the first 10 (at most) 15 people to graduate from that program. People don’t really know what to do with joint degree students. The question they can’t ask, “Why don’t you want to be a lawyer?” Because it’s so rare, the joint program is not even listed on the wikipedia page.
So while in law school, I will have to do better about focusing on my goals. I need to remember I came to law school to become the best librarian I could be, not the best lawyer. Eye on the prize, dude. Eye on the prize.
Until next, happy and safe drinking.