The Unauthorized True Blood Drinking Guide by Chris-Rachael Oseland.

The boozy book with a bite. Or an attempted one. The book’s basic premise is what cocktail vampires from True Blood (the t.v. show and not the book series) would have consumed about the time they were turned.

It is not a long read, and I finished it in about thirty minutes or an hour. Admittedly, I have only read the books and not seen the show, but, even as a True Blood homage, the book is terrible. The author never seems comfortable with the sex puns intrinsic to the Harris vampires and never overcomes her clunky writing style that comes from being either uncomfortable or unfamiliar with the urban fantasy writing style. It is never dark or sexy or funny but the book attempts to operate in all three spaces, sometimes at once. Frankly, it’s difficult to take the author’s attempt at sexual charm seriously.

But the drinks.

I have done some historical analysis into some, but not many cocktails. The author finds really great drinks and places them in their proper context. Unfortunately, the historical context gets lost in this attempt to be dark and/or sexy and/or funny. The book picks drinks that pre-date Jesus and updates them for the modern drinker. The ability to find drinks that typify the cocktail era of some of these drinks and provide the historical context is remarkably well done, and honestly, just impressive.

What I really want from this article  is a more serious approach to the history of cocktails, complete with recipes. When the author writes in her own voice, I find the book great. The book, as is, though . . . Well, we’ll just say I got it for free as a Kindle download, which I thought was an appropriate price. I would consider paying as much as $1.99, but only because I really loved True Blood. For all but the most die-hard True Blood fans, save your money.

As always, happy and safe drinking.