Hello, Gentle readers. I’m hoping this will be way less of a sabbatical than my last one, which was more unintentional than intentional.
I can’t believe it’s been six months since I’ve last updated. It doesn’t feel that long, but I suppose a lot has happened since then.
I got promoted in May. I got downsized on Wednesday. I’m currently back in Kansas. This is my second trip this year, which is weird. I’m planning my wedding for sometime next summer in Raleigh. I’m applying to grad school and law school. Right now, I’m licking my wounds in the great state of Kansas in the incredibly confusing city of Manhattan. Whenever I say I’m from Manhattan in Raleigh, people always assume I mean New York, and I have to correct them. I need to just start saying I’m from Kansas, but that’s not how I think about myself.
But today, I’m here. In Manhattan, KS. It’s the first day that I’ve really felt like I should be at work, since Wednesday. It’s weird.
It’s the little things that are slowly hitting me. My key chain being half the weight. Feeling like I should be in my office in Chapel Hill instead of in a coffee shop in Manhattan, KS. I’m still checking my work email. I’m not responding, but I’m glancing at it, which seems weird. I just probably stop doing that. Like when I tell my friends they need to stop checking their ex’s Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace. A clean break. Amputation as a theory for break-ups, and apparently for jobs.
I’ve been working 50 to 60 hours a week since January between the call center and the test prep company, and then just the test prep company. To go from that, to nothing, terrifies me.
I’m just so uncertain now. I needed to recenter, so I ran away. At least, that’s what it felt like. But I was so scared I was just going to stop functioning in Raleigh. That I would be 19 again and start sleeping the day away. Pretend like grad school and personal statements didn’t exist and just watch Netflix or play video games. Otherwise known as things that don’t allow me to be a functioning adult. Which are all things I’ve done before.
I just don’t know where to start. I’ve just wrapped myself up so completely in work. Friends that I saw every week, I started seeing once a month or less. Acquaintances I saw once a month, I started seeing every six. As you know, I stopped writing my blog. In fact, I stopped all cocktail creation, and just went with what I know when I made drinks. I lost myself in work. It swallowed me up. The hunter has opened the wolf’s belly, and I’ve escaped.
But, now what? I don’t know how to fill this hole that is appearing inside of me. Or the time. I also know that I need to spend this time working on my grad school applications, law school applications, and studying for the LSAT. It’s about moving forward. But finding the energy or motivation for that is just difficult right now. How do you write a personal statement and convince people to let you into their program and give you money, when you’re not convinced of it yourself.
I’m finding myself with a lot of doubts. I know it will get better. However, it’s the time from now until then that I’m having trouble with. For now, there are Metropolitans.
2 oz Brandy
1 oz Sweet Vermouth
1/2 oz Simple Syrup
- Add ice to a martini shaker.
- Add all ingredients.
- Shake dramatically.
- Pour and enjoy!
I really like this drink. But I like Brandy, and for my martinis to be vermouth-y as I’m sure you’re all aware by now. Much like a good Manhattan, this drink is smooth. By adding the simple syrup, you reduce a lot of the bitterness that one would find. A lot of my friends don’t drink Metros or Manhattans, so be weary if you don’t like liquor on liquor. If you already know you like Brandy, or you just want to give it a try, definitely give this a try, especially since it’s so inexpensive.
750 mL bottle of Brandy: $10
750 mL bottle of Vermouth: $5
Box of Sugar: $3
Water: $0 (unless you pay for water)
Total cost: $18 (assuming you don’t have sugar in your cabinet.)
Alright, I’ve written for you, I need you guys to do me a favor, gentle readers. I’ve been uninspired recently when it comes to drinks. What drinks do you like? What flavors? Every thought of a good drink, but never got it just right? Leave your comments below.
And, as always, happy, and safe, drinking.